“Used To Draw. Hard to Admit That I Used To Draw”
Used to draw
Hard to admit that I used to draw
Portraiture and the human form
Doodle of a two-headed unicorn
I let my fears materialize
I let my skills deteriorate
From one of my favorite albums of 2016 comes a song that kills me. Rings by Aesop Rock is a deep well of relatable rhymes that dig up what it felt like to give up an art form in my youth. “Used to draw. Hard to admit that I used to draw.” The first words out of the gate bring up a time when I didn’t know what the word ‘editing’ meant. I just drew until I was content, and often for hours on end. Then something crept in. “I let my fears materialize. I let my skills deteriorate.” Fear sunk in that I wasn’t good enough. I would leave more and more drawings left unfinished and my skills began to slip.
Can you relate? When asked about the song’s meaning, Aesop Rock says, “Rings reflects on my failure as a visual artist, and some of the regret I’ve experienced in regards to not pursuing it further.” I’m sure Aesop Rock (born Ian Bavitz) left drawers full of art left unfinished like the rest of us.
But even the great visual artists leave art unfinished. For every incredible painting you see from an artist, there are countless other projects that never see the light of day. I love that the Metropolitan Museum of Art created an entire exhibition around art left unfinished. Viewing these pieces is snapshot of the moment when artists showed a fear that “this is not good enough” and put it aside, presumably to try again at a later time or to abandon all together. It’s a relatable moment between the amateur and the masters. We all share the fear that our work doesn’t cut it. But there is only one thing that separates the frustrated, fear infused amateur and the master: the master will try again.