A Conversation with Author Tam Hodge on Finishing Personal Work

I’ve been friends with author Tam Hodge and her husband Brent now for around seven years. I’ve been around them enough to observe this one thing: they are real. Like, almost uncomfortable ‘real’. The kind of people you are around that make you realize how much false pretense we put up around people we don’t know. They also care deeply about people who are hurting. From that space, Tam felt she needed to tell her story in book form to connect with those with similar pasts who carry deep hurt.

I wanted to have a conversation with her about approaching the writing of her first book in hopes to unpack her process for those on the fence about telling their own story. Here’s the conversation. I hope it helps you!

What made you decide to write And Now I Choose?

Initially, God. It was a Moses moment actually. It began around 2002 when I felt strongly God telling me to pen my story. So, naturally, I told Him no. I am not qualified to do that, God. I am not a writer. I speak not good. And He laughed and laughed and laughed and then was like, No…Really – write it, woman. “Yes-Sir.” I started with simple stories and got super comfortable writing those – then I realized He was asking more of me. He wanted me to pen the gritty, the ugly, the uncomfortable parts of my story. And that is why it took me 10 years to complete my first book. It was hard writing about all of that, but it was the most therapeutic seasons of my life!

Was there a time when you asked, “Who am I to call myself an author?” How did you get over that?

Oh for sure! I am close friends with so many authors. I mean, I live in Nashville. Everyone here is either an author, a musician, a photographer, or a wanna-be hipster. When I looked at my author friends’ accolades, many books, their successes – I felt so small. Like, I am nothing like them. And one day it hit me… of course I’m not like them. I am me. They are them. God didn’t ask me to be someone else – He has asked me to be me and to be obedient… even if I feel unqualified.

What were your obstacles to completing your book (both mental and real-world obstacles)?

Mentally: Self-doubt. I argued with myself often. “The world doesn’t need another ‘story’. You are a dime a dozen, Tam.” But I fought back. No one else has my exact story. No one else has gone through, and grown through, trials like I have. Perhaps my little story will give hope to one single person who can relate. If so, WORTH-IT. We all have a unique story and our stories are valuable. 

 Real-world obstacle: Hurting those I included in my story. My book is a tough read in some parts. Really tough. I never spoke poorly of any person. But I did speak honestly. There is a quote from Anne Lamott that helped my head and heart space a ton… 

“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.” So, I’ll just leave that right there.

How did you break past those obstacles?

I surrounded myself with a stellar group of people, my family included. These trusted people knew my goals, my heart and passion – and they held me accountable. They prayed for me. They checked in on me. They even gave me writing deadlines! There is no need to feel like you can’t let others in to help you out. People want to help. They want to play a part in your journey… let them. It blesses them far more than it will bless you.

What would you say to those who don’t feel like their work matters?

I’d say that is the biggest lie they will ever crush under their feet. Of course I’m expecting they will crush it under their feet. Whenever we feel our work doesn’t matter, that is the enemy hard at work. Because he knows it does matter and he hates you for being brave enough to show it to the world. God = Author of life. Satan = author of lies.

What are some big pieces of advice you received that helped you get to completion of your book?

1- Don’t self-edit. Free write and don’t go back right away to read it. Go back the next day and check your feelers as you soak in your words. 

 2- Don’t compare your work with others. It’s not their work. It’s why it’s called your work.

What did your writing routine look like, if you had one?

It was terrible!! I wrote the majority of my book between the hours of 10pm and 2am, a minimum of 4 nights a week. 

How did you avoid distractions that stopped you from completing the book?

By doing the above. Writing when everyone was asleep and I had nothing left to do. I am a night owl. That is when I get my second-wind. You have to find what works for you and know that it may not be what “the experts” tell you need to do. Those experts aren’t you. I felt so pressured for so long to get up before the sun and do all my writing because “they” said I needed to. You want to know what my writing looked like?

 “I once went to school. I played. Play-dough is salty. I see an ant on the floor. Oreos.”

 It just didn’t work. So I decided to listen to my body and my brain – and I discovered it worked better while the experts were sleeping.

Are there any last words of advice for those hopeful creatives wanting to get their work out in the world, but are too scared to start?

There is something extra special about a work being created by someone who did it afraid. There is a rawness and realness to it. You just know it when you see it. They’re works of courage. If you feel paralyzed by fear, start anyway. You can find out a lot about yourself from your fears – you may even discover some answers and hidden strengths by pushing through them. Don’t be afraid of the fear – be afraid of the fear winning. 

 One more thing, you may have a million reasons as to why you can’t start right now… I often say that there is a fine line between a reason and an excuse. Reasons explain – Excuses blame. 

Tam’s book, And Now I Choose is available HERE and her forthcoming ebook is available for preorder HERE. You can check out more resources and blogs from Tam Hodge HERE >>> Tamhodge.com